i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
