I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
