My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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