That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
