I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
zippers are such a cool invention
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
