so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
