i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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