I'm so fucking centered right now
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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