Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
