She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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