Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
