I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
