just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
