so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My breasts were aching with rage.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
