Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
