I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
