i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
