I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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