Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
