how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
