Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
