i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Ketchup is God's man juice
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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