what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
