my sisters under your porch take her home
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
