Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
