my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
