Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize