Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
