I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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