Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
