it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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