Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
