we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
