my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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