my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
