New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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