Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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