You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
