i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
