He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
