so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I understand Curling. That high.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
