i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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