WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
