What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
