I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize