i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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