she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
