i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize