i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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