the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
When are your genitals available?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
