He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
