We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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