He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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