I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
