i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
