we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
