Dual....:-)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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